Masticate

Suggested by Chris H.

Definition: (from dictionary.com)
-verb
1. to chew
2. to reduce to a pulp by crushing or kneading, as rubber

Examples:
"On our dinner date he said I was very good at masticating."
"I told him if he used that language at the dinner table he could go masticate by himself."

Origin: (from etymonline.com)
"1640s, back-formation from mastication, or else from Late Latin masticatus, past participle of masticare 'to chew.'"

Awkwardness rating: 8

It's hard to masticate politely when eating a cheesesteak. (cbsnews.com)

Discharge

Suggested by Mark E.

Definition: (from dictionary.com)
-verb (used with object)
1. to relieve of a charge or load; unload
2. to remove or send forth
3. to fire or shoot (a firearm or missile)
4. to pour forth; emit
5. to relieve oneself of (an obligation, burden, etc.)

-noun
6. the act of discharging a ship, load, etc.
7. the act of firing a weapon, as an arrow by drawing and releasing the string of the bow, or a gun by exploding the charge of powder

8. a sending or coming forth, as of water from a pipe; ejection; emission.
9. the rate or amount of such issue
10. something sent forth or emitted

Examples:

"Bridget was discharged from the hospital shortly after they removed the marble from her nostril."

"Wait. So the yellow discharge coming from the milk box didn't give you a hint it was bad?"

Origin: (from etymonline.com)
"early 14c., 'to exempt, exonerate, release,' from Old French deschargier (12c., Modern French. décharger) 'to unload, discharge,' from Late Latin discarricare, from dis- 'do the opposite of' + carricare 'load'. Meaning 'to unload, to free from' is late 14c. Of weapons, from 1550s. The electrical sense is first attested 1748. Meaning 'to fulfill, to perform one's duties' is from c.1400."

Awkwardness rating: 4

Okay, I won't stick them up my nose again. Can I be discharged now? (kardsunlimited.com)

Squirt

Definition: (from dictionary.com)
-verb (used without object)
1. to eject liquid in a jet from a narrow orifice
2. to eject a spurt of liquid

Examples:

"He squirted his water gun at me and totally, like, ruined my hair."

"Someone shook my soda and it squirted all over me when I opened it."

Origin: (from etymonline.com)

"late 15c., squyrten 'to spit' (intransitive), of uncertain origin, probably imitative. Transitive sense 'cause to issue in a sudden jet or stream' is from 1580s. Squirt-gun attested from 1803."

Awkwardness rating: 8

Squirt gun fun! (calwatchdog.com)